tomorrow, Tomorrow, TOMORROW?!

my rage and temper is SO out of guard nowdays.
I shun outsiders with crossed eyebrows even at the slightest disturbance;
(1)hair brushed against me
(2)their eyes wandering at me as if I was a born with three eyes

..and my eyes will dart back at them and it takes immediate effect when they decided to get their eyes off as if they can tell I'm swearing.
soothe yourself, zawani.
it gets under my skin at times,
like mind your own business

MUM reminded me to take care of myself these days.
OH WELL, when you have to be seriously ill, then you will.
She's worried sick about my diet since snacks are top in my eat-before-I-die list.
Come on, its been three months.
And all I do is munch,munch and munch.
The kitchen cupboard is wearing out of food.
And and everytime she nags at me to watch what I eat, I'll ALWAYS, without fail, answer,

"Eat healthily, die anyway."
Okay, don't ask me what inspires me to snap her out like that.
But it so contradicts right?
I mean, here are doctors persuading patients to watch their diet, to avoid oily stuffs, campaign here and there,
yet when patients retire from the world,
will they be carrying regrets to the after death?
FOOD IS PARADISE,
and they are made to eshew from it when living.

WAAAIITTTT,
okay, I confess.
I'm babbling all this because I'm freaking sick about tomorrow.

Luqman Hakim - I'm skipping school tomorrow. Yay Truancy says:
eh...aku dah gila **** nya nervous ni

Above was my cousin whom (is and always) my family compares with at every single performance.
OKAYYY, he has the good genes.
And he just mentioned that I'm no pushover.
I mean, he's been pining me down ever since I was born.
But due to my PSLE results, which by the tail, I lost to him and almost end up being in the same school as he does, he learnt to shut up.
And there's others so say,

Alah, Zawani, you can do it one.

And to those people who once said that to me, it'll take eons to understand this.
All these overstatements is driving me off the hook.
Its like putting your shrunken head on the noose,
and just pull it off when reality slams hard on it.
EXPECTATIONS?!
Burdens.

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
final shout out before results tomorrow.

ALLAH, THOUGH ITS TOO LATE TO PRAY SINCE ITS DONE, JUST SPARE ME THE COURAGE TO FACE IT NO MATTER WHAT.

Wizard of the West,
I need courage.